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Session3.9
The Gang Hits the Streets cue Always Sunny in Philadelphia theme In attendance: Buckler (Luther), Gramarsh (Thayer), Carric (Ryan), Ulrich (Eric) This is the third session ever to take place only in city limits. The other two are the Hunt for Jondry and the Trial of Dar. Written by Eric Late Afternoon: Buckler is on his usual patrol around the city. His route eventually comes across the Tipsy Tabaxi. As he approaches he hears Carric exclaim “Suck it, Ulrich!”. he can only envision Carric’s tall erect middle finger extending in Ulrich’s direction. Buckler bursts in to the Tipsy Tabaxi and yells at Ulrich and Carric: “I’ve had enough of this infernal bickering between you two! You think that you have problems?! You have no idea the problems I see on patrol everyday. You know what, you’re both coming with me! If you both think you are so high and mighty, then you shouldn’t have a problem as honorary deputies for the rest of the day. You are gonna hit the streets with me and find out what is really worth your time." Ulrich and Carric begrudgingly get up from there respective tables and follow Buckler out the door, making a point to refrain from eye contact as they walk out the door together. The gang continues to walk down the road and they eventually make it The Reach. Buckler says there is always some shenanigans going on at this bar, so he keeps an eye on it. As the gang walks into the bar, Ulrich spots Gramarsh in the corner cheering on a fight between two orphans that had started only a moment before. The gang walks up to Gramarsh and asks him what he’s doing at the Reach. He Says “What? This is the Tipsy Tabaxi!” Buckler, Ulrich and Carric exchange glances. Ulrich says “Have you been here this whole time thinking you are with us at the Tipsy Tabaxi?” Gramarsh looks at Nick Elback on stage and says "I thought Carric looked different…” Ulrich asks Gramarsh what he has been up to and he responds “Not much, I.ve done back up vocals for Carric a few times.” Carric stand up and exclaims ”Dammit that wasn’t me! That was Nick Elback, you traitorous bastard!” Buckler breaks up the fight between the two kids and tells them to run home. The gang recruits Gramarsh and leaves. As they walk on patrol with Buckler, they pass Fitz’s shop, which has been closed. Ulrich looks dismayed, as he was planning to ask Fitz to replicate the prosthetic foot that he had once made for Ulrich. Ulrich remembers that Indigo may have acquired Fitz as an employee, and makes a mental note to stop by the Indy’s shop to look for Fitz later on. In addition to being named an honorary deputy, Buckler deputizes Gramarsh into the Silver Flame. To celebrate Gramarsh’s newfound vocation, Buckler mentions to the group that he wants to show them something that he has been working on. It’s a new Sparring Club. Buckler is still hammering out the details, but he wants to try it with us. Ulrich and Gramarsh seem enthusiastic about it. Carric tries to change the subject by flipping everyone off. He obviously does not want to fight. The gang keeps walking. Within a few minutes, an old lady approaches the gang inquiring for our assistance. Her cat is stuck up a pole on top of her house. She has been throwing treats at the cat to come down, but it seemed to be enjoying the treats from on top the pole, completely reluctant to come down. She blamed the loose chickens from Gray Farms for being responsible for her cat’s current location! She claimed that the cat chased a chicken up the pole, though there are no chickens to be seen anywhere. Gramarsh attempts to charm the old lady, but just ends up intimidating her. “I ASSURE YOU WE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE CHICKENS!” he screams in her face, splattering her with saliva. Ulrich pulls out his rod and presses a button along the shaft. Number 4 to be exact. It extends into a 50-foot ladder that Carric then climbs up and charms the cat into coming down off the pole. Carric returns the cat to the old lady, who thanks the young strapping lads profusely. The old lady remarks that Dexter told her the cat was as good as dead! Buckler asks the lady “Dexter... How is he doing? Does he still have a rat problem going?” She says “It is all he ever talks about.” The gang continues to walk around town, passing Workshop 53. Buckler spots a shiny stone on the ground and picks it up. Carric pulls out a menga joint, lights it, and says “I’m going to get a drink at the Tipsy Tabaxi after that weird cat lady incident.” As we approach the Tipsy Tabaxi, a crowd can be seen a little ways off. Two youths quickly run out of the crowd. Buckler and Gramarsh go full beast mode and take off after the two escaping youths. Ulrich hobbles along behind them, limping and wincing in pain at his stub of a right leg. Carric halfheartedly follows the action just in front of Ulrich. Ulrich yells to Carric to give him a hand, at which point Carric promptly starts walking quicker, as if he couldn’t hear Ulrich and was suddenly fascinated by something suddenly in front of him. While hobbling along, looking down at his nub of a foot, Ulrich spots a shiny stone on the ground and stops to pick it up. Buckler and Gramarsh split up, with Gramarsh following directly behind the youths and Buckler trying to… cut ‘em off at the pass! The kids run into a house as Gramarsh and Buckler reunite to catch up with them. Their very angry Dragonborn father asks Buckler “Why are you chasing my kids?” in a very abrupt manner. After explaining that the kids were seen running from a possible crime scene, the angry father tells us “You yellow bellies! You have no evidence! Go away!” The Dragonborn father is very unhelpful. Buckler tells him to have a pleasant evening and as they walk away from the loudly slammed shut door, Buckler mutters to himself “You can’t win ‘em all…” As the gang continues on patrol, they encounter an elderly gnome. He comes up to the gang in a bewildered manner and asks about the Voidborn. He seems freaked out by them. Buckler assures the man that the Voidborn are not a threat. Carric leans in and whispers “Don’t worry about the kids, they won’t be around for long.” And he winks conspicuously. After a time, the gnome admits that it is actually his wife that is freaking out about the Voidborn. He asks for the gang to go to his house and reassure his wife that the Voidborn are not a threat. Upon closer inspection, it turned out that his wife wasn't actually scared of Voidborn, she had a thing for Silas... Buckler quietly advises the bewildered husband to go to G.W. Giles Parchment & Sons, get paint in all the colors of the newly visible night sky, spread them chaotically all about himself, and go to town on his wife. Carric yells “Yeah! Give her the D!” As the gang walks out, Buckler sighs and says “I need another drink after that unsolicited marriage counseling” We go back to the Tipsy Tabaxi. Cake is dancing on stage, and is looking SO HOT. Gramarsh attempts to hit on her, but fails miserably. Nihilus is sitting at the bar, which gives Ulrich an idea. Ulrich pulls Buckler aside and requests his permission to have Nihilus infiltrate the Silver Flame jail and incognito banish Rosa back to Davros. Buckler looks away as if he did not hear, and says “Doesn’t sound like anything to me” in a beguiled manner. Buckler calls Gramarsh over to go to the sparring ring, quickly removing himself from the possibility of collusion with the alleged banishment. Night Time While Ulrich is seated at the bar of the Tipsy Tabaxi with numerous witnesses as an alibi, Niles walks out into the dark of night, transforms into a bat, and flies off to do the deed. After some time, he returns, saying nothing, only nodding in confirmation of the task. Ulrich hangs his head gravely at the gravity of the situation. Rosa. His love. Is gone. Forever. Banish-ed. In agreement to keep Carric quiet about Rosa’s banishment, Ulrich agrees to publicly apologize to Carric for “making inflammatory comments about his character” in the council chambers. Carric seems to calm down with the very public apology. Carric admits that he has had a rough month, and proceeds to tell the whole Prentiss story. Carric and Ulrich bury the hatchet and hug it out. Carric and Ulrich head to the Silver Flame Headquarters to meet Buckler and Gramarsh. Buckler presents his Sparring Club to the gang. The first rule of Sparring Club should go without saying… For more info on Sparring Club, click here! : Ulrich and Gramarsh step forward to join the arena. Carric eyes the door and reminds the group of Dexter’s longstanding rat problem, while trying to dismiss himself from the current combative climate. Buckler frantically pulls out his police notepad and flips through it, “For crying out loud, we forgot about the dang rat! Dangit!” Buckler collects himself, breathes deeply, and turns to Carric. “Sorry Carric, you’re right… but the rat…”He flips his notebook closed in a reflexive gesture “…is gonna have to wait!” Carric rolls his eyes as we all start stripping our gear off. The gang puts on wooden armor and picks up wooden swords. Ulrich and Carric are up first to spar. Ulrich gains initiative, but in his crippled state, only makes it halfway across the arena and stops in the middle, clearly not in his usual battle stance due to his recently crippled leg. Carric charges and makes a critical hit against Ulrich. Ulrich recovers from the unexpectedly heavy blow, and hits Carric twice in quick succession as a response. Carric channels his bardic ability to do something freaky in the devil’s name and rolls 3d6 against Ulrich, rolling a 6 three times in a row! WTF! 6 6 6! The Number of the beast! Ulrich is NOT looking good (5 health). Ulrich draws on his last reserve of adrenaline to lash out in a furious flurry of blows. As Ulrich critically lands his last blow to the rag doll-like body of Carric, Ulrich takes his CSI sunglasses off and dramatically looks at Carric. As Carric falls back, fading out of consciousness, the last sound he hears before passing out is Ulrich smugly uttering under his breath “You’ll be singing a different tune now, bitch.” A psychic wave slaps Carric into oblivion. (-50 health to Carric. Just saying) Old Jarpington walks in with the assistance of a cane. It is apparent that Old Jarp is antagonizing the young Keeper of the Flame, as if he reminds him of someone he used to know. Whatever that means. Buckler and Gramarsh are up next in the sparring arena. Buckler exclaims “Bring it on!!” and Gramarsh replies “Get SMASHED!” Buckler charges forward at Gramarsh near the wall of the arena. Buckler hits twice, substantially wounding Gramarsh, then promptly shield slams Gramarsh to the ground. Gramarsh staggers up to his feet and attacks with fervor, damaging Buckler considerably, but not enough to throw him off his stryde… Buckler returns fire with a quick shield slam that fails, but still manages to land two serious blows, critically damaging Gramarsh. By this time, Gramarsh is seeing only red and flies on Buckler, as if in a trance. In his rage, Gramarsh overswings twice and misses, then fatefully deals the final knockout blow to Buckler on his final stroke. The red in Gramarsh’s eyes begins to dissipate while Jarpington descends upon the fallen bodies of Buckler and Carric, laying his hands on them and healing them to full. He then heals Gramarsh and Ulrich in a similar fashion. Everyone hugs it out after an intense, fraternal display of masculinity. On the way to the Tipsy Tabaxi for after-brawl drinks and greasy bar food, the gang stops by Indigo’s new shop. Fitz happens to be outside, and Ulrich enlists him. Fitz is confused and apprehensive at first, but is convinced to build Ulrich a new prosthetic foot, once the gang was able to locate the original blueprint for Ulrich’s foot amongst Fitz’s pre-existing files in the room. Fitz whips up a new foot, and Ulrich walks out proudly alongside his gang of bros, new bone flute foot and all. The gang goes back to the Tipsy Tabaxi. Gramarsh hits on Cake again, but has similar misfortune as earlier. Carric goes on stage and invites his new BFF, Ulrich, up on stage. They hug and wave at the crowd in celebration of their newfound friendship. Ulrich pulls off his foot and begins to play a melody on his new bone flute foot while Carric strums on his guitar, the chords vaguely similar to a new hit single by Nick Elback. The moment is beautiful. The night fades into bliss. End